My Biggest Fear In Life
Let’s take a look at what my biggest fear is in life right now.
It comes off the back of a conversation I had yesterday in the gym, followed by a podcast this morning.
And the main theme was about achieving what you want in life.
Currently, I’m a 30 year old male (with the mental age of a 7 year old).
And with being in my 30’s, I continually get the following:
- When will you settle down
- Any sign of you to get married
- You should buy a house
- ‘Sure that’s not a real job’ or the great one – ‘well you don’t really work, do you’.
Along with various other questions.
But the common theme with them all is – their views imposed by society as to how we should structure our life.
The Societal Pressure
According to society, life should go like this:
You get a ‘good’ leaving cert and go to college.
Finish up with a degree and go get a ‘good’ job and career.
By 30 then you should be married, have your own house and have kids.
Not following that?
Well you probably need to grow up and be serious for a change.
Or maybe there’s something wrong with them?
My biggest issue is this:
We all grow up with hopes and dreams only to slowly let go of them all in order to fall in line with how we should live a life.
Now not for one minute am I ragging on anyone who has done all of the above.
I’m just trying to look at things from a different perspective.
Here’s My View On My Own Life Path
So I’m currently 30 years of age.
The current life expectancy in Ireland is 81.5 years.
So as I write this, I potentially have 51 years of life ahead of me.
And the thoughts of staying in the same lane for those 51 years scares me.
For me personally, I don’t want to be that guy who lives to 65 in the same job just to retire and start to live then.
I don’t want to spend the next 51 years simply existing just to pay a mortgage and bills.
I want to knock as much fun out of life as I possibly can.
And that involves travelling the world, experiencing new cultures, doing stuff that makes me happy and being able to wake up every morning looking forward to what’s ahead.
It will also mean possibly a few changes of career along the way to keep me learning, motivated and see where I can push myself.
What Got Me To Here?
Well as soon as I turned 18 I realised the credit union would give me money.
So I went in and buried myself balls deep in debt so I could have nice cars etc.
I’ve pretty much spent the last 12 years paying off debts, bills and loans.
But thankfully in there somewhere I’ve built a fairly decent business.
So coming out the end of that, I’ve learned from mistakes.
I’ve learned that chasing material goods to just impress others is a waste of time.
Because you’ll still end up unhappy.
Right now, the thoughts of watching a sunset in another continent with a group of people who were complete strangers yesterday really excites me.
The challenge of climbing a mountain in some crazy place.
Or maybe getting almost tasered on a street market in Paraguay is fun? (It’s not really).
And I’ll happily trade money for experiences like that.
Breaking Free From The Fear
Right, I’ll try wrap this up a bit before you think I’m some eejit that reads too much self help books.
I like to look at life in the big picture now.
I’ve often picture myself as that old, wrinkly, creepy guy in the nursing home who keeps whistling at the young nurses.
And when I picture that, I don’t want to look back at my life and think:
“God, I’m so glad I settled down and spend 35 years paying that mortgage right now”.
Because that’s not going to happen for any of us.
Instead, I want to be able to lie there on my death bed and think “jesus that was some craic”.
Because no matter what, we all have an expiry date.
So we need to stress less over the minor details in life.
Go and do the things you’re going to look back on and think – “I’d do it all again if I got the chance!”
Never be afraid to do things that scare you.
Because once you overcome them, you will be proud of yourself.
Goodbye Fear, Hello Happiness
In life, we do settle for things because we fear change.
We fear ending relationships even though we’re both miserable.
We fear quitting the job that is ruining our life because we don’t know where the next pay check comes from.
The thoughts of asking that person on a date terrifies you in case they say no.
But when you start to distance yourself from the false outcomes you create in your head, you’ll realise you’re actually able to take on anything.
And each event in your life will only make you stronger.
Becoming stronger will mean you use those experiences you create future happiness.
Don’t be afraid of breaking the mould!
Never be afraid to go your own way!
P.s. It’ll be gas if you come back in 10 years and I’m living in a cardboard box with a pet rabbit called Steve.
But sure I’ll give this life craic a good go and see what happens!
PPS. I only ever write from my own views. I don’t have kids so I choose not to write about scenarios I know nothing about. Now if you’ve a cat, I can offer great advice!