The 5 Stages Of A Girl Joining A Gym - StrongLife

The 5 Stages Of A Girl Joining A Gym

joining

Today, I’m writing about the common 5 Stages a girl goes through when joining a gym to become healthier, toned and fitter.

But instead of using technical terms, I’m gonna give it a shot from the girls perspective.

Let’s see how accurate it is:

1. The “Meh, I’d like to but not really arsed” Stage

This is where you currently like the idea of getting fit, losing weight or getting a banging body, but right now it’s far down your list of priorities.

At the moment, you just started that cracking tv show on Netflix and the gym will only get in the way of your tv binging time.

Maybe later.

2. The “Hmm, I wonder could I look like her?” Stage

By now, you’ve been scouring Facebook and Instagram and even had a browse through a few magazines. On all of them you see that 1 girl you wouldn’t mind looking like.

You browse a few local gyms, read one or two blogs and begin to consider it more.

All of a sudden, the wheels start turning and for a brief moment you think “I could get into shape like her” only to discount it 2 minutes later and resort to a bag of maltesers and Coronation Street.

3. The “Right, I’m joining the gym” Stage

This is where you make the executive decision with the voice in your head that yes, this time you’re going to do it. Yo

Well not this week like, but what I’ll do is run out to Penney’s and stock up on all my new gym gear and water bottle so that next Monday it’s time to shine!!!

(You also do the “Pants Test” to make sure they’re not see-through – I strongly advise of this)

Plus, sure I have to spend this week clearing the house of bad food (a.k.a eating it) and start eating healthy.

4. The “Drive-by” Stage

No it’s not something from the Sopranos.

This is where you finish work, put on all your new shiny gym gear, fill up your water bottle and head to the gym.

You stop at 3 places before because you “really” need to do these things before you can go to the gym.

By now, you’ve circled the car park 3 times and then you drive-by the gym, go to Supermacs and head off home.

You just weren’t feeling it today and you’re tired.

Tomorrow.

5. The “I have signed myself into Hell” Stage

The day has landed. You walk in the door of the gym, you hear the doors slam shut behind you.

There’s no escape.

After a few minutes, your thighs are burning, your lungs are arguing with each other and there seems to a strange, clear liquid emerging from all your pores.

This is where you question what you’ve just signed yourself up for.

Then 2 days later….

You wake up.. You try to get out of bed 7 different ways but you’re pretty sure you got hit by a truck in your sleep.

Rolling is now your only form of movement.

There’s 16 muscles in your arse and legs that you didn’t know existed.

Someone has lowered the toilet by 6 feet as it was never this low before.

The neighbours think you’re having a really “good” time but in reality, that’s just you trying to get up off the chair.

You walk like John Wayne and your hands keep dropping everything making you bend over more.

As you lie in a bath that is 72% Epsom Salts you Google to see if this is normal.

And yes, I’m afraid it is.

First session is always the worst but it does get a LOT better after that, I promise.

You just need to get started and make it a routine of your week.

After that, it’s about becoming consistent and showing up.

Take it easy the first week, learn your exercises and progress from there.

Hope you enjoyed this rambling and feel free to share it about (especially if you’ve done all of these stages).

Colm.

Colm Duignan

Colm Duignan

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